Mirror, Mirror
by Eyes of Shinigami
Summary: Sometimes, the worst demons we confront are the ones we see in ourselves. Prompted by the line “Against my will I stand beside my own reflection” from “Crawling” by Linkin Park. Gokucentric


TITLE: Mirror, Mirror

AUTHOR: Eyes of Shinigami

TIMELINE: Somewhere in the general direction of Saiyuki

PAIRING: Gen, for once. But, since I'm me, there are several you could be looking for here.

RATING: K

WARNINGS: Angst, strangeness, slight OOC.

SUMMARY: The worst demons we confront are the ones we see in ourselves. Prompted by the line _"Against my will I stand beside my own reflection" _from "Crawling" by Linkin Park. I'm being an angst bunny, and I needed a vent. This probably doesn't make any sense, but…oh well.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Saiyuki.

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Goku waited until the others had fallen asleep before answering the beckoning he heard inside his head. He crossed the floor silently, drawing in a quick breath when he heard Sanzo shift in his post at the window. The rain was still drizzling lightly outside as it fell with a quiet _tap-tap _against the glass. Still, it was enough to send the other members of the Sanzo party into their usual induced depression, Gojyo if only by association.

But for Goku, the rain meant something wholly different.

The way it fell reminded him of his quickened heart beat, the soft padding of his feet against the floor boards as he made his way down the hall. Luckily, the bathrooms were off to the side and away from his sleeping companions. The silent whisper was growing louder as he neared his destination, his head pounding with the cacophony going on inside his brain. It had been too long, he reasoned. He silently blamed Sanzo, since it was the blond's stubbornness that had kept them outside camping for so long. Of course, he would never say such a thing to the man's face, but cursing him beneath his breath suited him for the time being.

_"Goku…" _he heard it call, knowing that if he didn't respond it was going to get worse. Some days he was surprised that the priest couldn't hear the noises, but he supposed that wasn't part of the deal. It was his cross to bear, after all.

Finally, he reached where he'd been heading towards, confronted with a large full-length mirror that he had noticed earlier when he went to take his bath. The noise had become a deafening roar and he knew he had to act fast. Stepping towards the mirror, Goku let out a deep breath and let his eyes slide closed. A shudder wracked his body and he heard the voice that he knew all too well.

_"Finally. It has been far too long." _When Goku opened his eyes, it was not his own reflection staring back at him, but rather that of his infamous alter-ego. Seiten Taisei stood in his full glory, crowned and dressed like the Great Sage he was. Slit golden eyes were filled with scathing mirth, while the jagged smile broke his face into a frightening expression that never ceased to send prickles of fear across Goku's skin. While the others had experienced the demon, none of them had gotten the pleasure of seeing him like this.

"But I answered your call. I'm here," Goku answered in a strangely tired voice, sounding more like the five-hundred plus being that he was. He hated nights like this when he couldn't sleep underneath the fall of the rain. It was when the demon felt it necessary to make his appearance.

The demon frowned, and Goku could feel his face mimic the action perfectly. Two halves of one whole, but secretly they knew who was stronger. _"You sound so disappointed. You made this bargain with me, remember? You would keep me company when it suited me if I spared your little friends. Hell is a lonely place, Goku." _

Another shudder moved through Goku like an earthquake, but he did his best to stand his ground. Appearing weak in front of the Great Sage was unacceptable; who knew what the demon would decide to do should his vessel fail him? It was unthinkable. "I'm sure. What is it that you need from me?"

Seiten laughed, hints of a growl lingering around the edges making it sound feral. _"Do I have to _need _you? Isn't you who needs me, boy? Who gives you your power? Who keeps your memories sealed within this tiny mind of yours? Oh, the things I could show you…you would collapse underneath their weight." _The demon had a point, but Goku would not begrudge the demon the pleasure of knowing that. Seiten enjoyed taunting him and making him feel small, more than Sanzo ever could.

Perhaps that's why he endured this, for Sanzo's sake. For all of Sanzo's cold insults and dismissals, nothing could compare to what Seiten could do. Goku was sure that even the impenetrable Sanzo would collapse under one of the Sage's verbal onslaughts when he was in top form. But, Seiten never seemed to want him to cry, but rather just to remind him who was controlling who. "Fine. I just…don't understand, that's all."

Seiten eyed his reflection warily, reaching out a hand and moving it towards the glass. Of course, Goku's hand could only follow as his fingertips connected with the smooth surface of the glass. _"You don't have to, Goku. Just do as I say and it will be all right. Your Sun and your friends will be safe. It's a small price to pay, isn't it?"_

Goku merely nodded in reply, unable to think of something to say. Vaguely, he wondered what it must be like, to be trapped beneath the surface like a reflection. No wonder Seiten was so angry all the time.

_"You and I are the same, Goku. Once, we were one. Then those foolish gods tampered with Mother and her Creation in order to control us. Two broken halves of the same whole, Goku. Never forget that. You are obligated to me just as I am to you."_

The demon's words were frank and wise, just as Goku had come to expect from his other half. Maybe Seiten was in one of his waxing poetic moods, which meant that all he had to do was sit and listen. "I know. Seiten…what would happen if we…become one again?" The question had been plaguing him for some time, but he'd always been too afraid to ask.

_"That is not a question I have an answer to. Perhaps we would become the Creature we were meant to be, and perhaps we would bring chaos upon this world as I meant to before your Sun saved us that day." _

Goku nodded silently, brushing the mirror with his hand once more. Like a puppet, Seiten was forced to repeat the same action. Two halves of the same whole, mirror images of one another even as they were polar opposites. "Seiten, I-"

"Goku? Who in the world are you talking to in there? Don't you realize what time it is? Sanzo would flay you alive if he knew you were up at this hour!" he heard Hakkai say through the door, breaking his concentration.

"No one. I was just muttering about how hungry I am. I'll be out in a few minutes." The reply was cheerful, if only for Hakkai's sake.

Placated, Hakkai replied, "All right. If you're having trouble sleeping, why didn't you tell me sooner? Anyway, meet me when you get back in the room." Footsteps could be heard heading down the hallway towards their room, but Goku wasn't satisfied until he heard the door close. He turned back towards the mirror, slightly disappointed that the mirror was no longer filled with the familiar reflection. Whatever it was, it had broken.

Oh well, Goku supposed, offering a shrug before reaching out to open the door. There would always be another time. He left the room then, vaguely aware of the hazy outline that had been left in the mirror, one that would wait until the next time it got the chance to speak. The impression was faint, but etched into the glass nonetheless.

One of many, actually, which pleased the Great Sage to no end.

--END--


End file.
